The truth about value and values

Last night in our group coaching session we had a discussion about value….

“Recently I had gone on a couple of dates with this guy that was really cute,” said one client.

“Then he told me ‘I’ve recently met this woman and I feel I need to explore that relationship. I wanted to be honest and let you know I don’t feel right seeing you as well right now.'”

“Thank you for letting me know.” she said “I really appreciate you being honest with me.” He said, “Of course, you deserve that!” “Oh sh**,” she said, “yeah I do!” 

This client just got a glimpse of her value. She is worth being treated with honesty!

Then, a colleague reached out to me with a different issue…

“I want to talk about my business. I’m not making any money.” she confessed.

“What are you offering and what are you charging?” I asked

“So far I have only worked individually with people. I keep offering my services for free. The people who really need it don’t have money.” she said.

What do these two stories have in common?

They are about value.

One is about standing for her values… what she values in relationship and in a partner.

The other is about valuing herself and what she offers clients in the form of services.

We cheat ourselves and we cheat our clients and our partners when we don’t stand in our own value or don’t stand for what we value.

So here is a quick quiz for you..

• Do you not charge or undercharge your clients for your services? Or, are you not getting paid what you are worth at work?
• Do you find yourself in relationships with people who don’t value you as much as you value them – whether in business, friendships or love relationships? Do you have people in your life who are not honest, who don’t do what they say there are going to do or otherwise lack integrity?
• Do you hesitate to invest in yourself when presented with an opportunity to better your chances in business or in love? Do you say, “I can’t afford it?” (which means, I don’t value myself at that level.)

If you answered yes to any one of these, you have a misalignment of values and an opportunity to get paid what you are worth or get the love and respect you deserve.

Here are two important skills to master in order to reach success in money and relationships – especially love relationships.

How much do you value yourself?

If you are providing a professional service and are not charging for your services or under charging for your services, you are showing your clients that you don’t value yourself or what you offer. AND what’s most important, you are serving as a role model for that lack of value.

When you value yourself, you allow others to value themselves too.

As a coach or consultant, when you invite people to invest with you, you change their lives. They get healthier, find love or increase their business. They are investing in themselves and by investing in themselves they are declaring themselves worth investing in! They have value! Wow – right? Are you with me?

When you don’t value yourself, you don’t allow others to value themselves either. When I got that, it was HUGE! And it was huge for my colleague yesterday as well.

This works with relationships as well

What are your values in a love relationship? Respect? Honesty? Integrity? How are you respecting yourself? Are you steeped in your own value as a partner? Are you being honest with yourself about who you are and what you want?

You can only attract a man into your life who mirrors your own sense of value. And staying with a man who doesn’t share your values is a way of disrespecting yourself and eventually, you will disrespect him.

Is this making sense?

Answer these questions:

• What is your value as a woman?
• What value do you bring to a partnership?
• What are your values?
• What are your non-negotiables for relationship with a man?

Unless you are clear on all of these, a successful love relationship is going to be tricky. You will end up playing out patterns and attracting partners who don’t live up to what you really want, but they may be living up to your value.

The bottom line

If you value yourself, you find partners who value, love, and respect you. You earn what you are worth. Employers and clients happily invest in themselves through you. And… you invest in yourself – in your own personal growth and development. You stand in your values by your example.

Has this made sense to you? Comment below and let me know.

In love,